


The sorrows of young Benedict or harsh memories grandmother from the Urals

by Straj



Category: Benedict Cumberbatch - Fandom, Sherlock (TV), original heroes
Genre: Gates - Freeform, Moffat, Other, Sherlock - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 14,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2064624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straj/pseuds/Straj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angst, Humor, Philosophy<br/>What to do if your grandmother - Benedict Cumberbatch? The author of the proposal: Lady Hel<br/>Generated: 17 February 2014, 23:55</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The awakening

**Author's Note:**

> Beta -poeticapayge

Benedict opened his eyes and didn't understand anything. All around swam. "What is it?"- Thought in panic Benedict, - "this is what I saw yesterday?" But then he realized that what he is almost blind, he is sick. Ben panic movement of her arms and legs. "GOSPODARZE MY!!!!!!" The body was suspiciously easy. Ben smile eyes and raised his hand. And screamed almost in terror. Instead healthy hands of a young man, he saw nothing behind but a flabby hand, belonging, of course, very old man. Ben panic tried to jump up out of bed. Did not work. Instead, Ben hard, groaning, sat up.  
Before him was a small room with the yellow faded Wallpaper, dirty whitewashed ceiling lamp. The ceiling was sticking up only the transaction. In one corner stood a chest with a heap of junk, near the door stood the second is littered with many papers, opposite the bed there is an old cupboard next to the antique table in the style of hi-tech early period. The table was littered with junk. Next to this table sticking out the great flower, and nearby was a table full of dishes. Ben turned her head with a creak of the old joints. In the headboard - a luxurious bed with antique spring mattress, Nickel backs and, as it turned out, on wheels - standing TV with a strange name "Baltic” and it is quite modern music center. Ben swallowed, but thought it likely tricks Martin and Steve. He tried someone to call.  
But here the door opened, and there came a voice:  
-Good morning, Ba !  
Benedict on the machine croaked something unintelligible and leaned back on the pillow. Falling asleep, he even said that wearing a light green shirt, dark pants and warm boots. And somewhere on the verge of sleep and sleep it came to him.  
"BA?! I THAT HAD BECOME A GRANDMOTHER!?"

Grandmother Nina opened his eyes. Too much light. Too much space. And the main thing was ill nothing, all eyes have seen, ears have heard, and brains thought.  
\- Ben! - Languid female voice rang out from the side. Grandmother Nina squinted his eyes. Next to it there was a Nude woman.  
\- The citizen who you are and what are you doing in my bed? - strictly asked the grandmother Nina and angrily said, - NAKED?  
Ben, stop it, - answered testily woman, - what a stupid jokes? Especially in the morning.  
"I will ask you to dress and leave the apartment, " aunt Nina was adamant.  
\- What are you really, Ben, - the woman sat up in the bed, it’s not even funny!  
"And hold to call me Ben. You're so young and pretty...- here Grandmother Nina trailed off, and she came to mind:-"why this woman calls me Ben?" Grandmother Nina got up from the bed -" you all joints are moving and not sick walked over to the mirror and stared back. Half an hour there were gawking. And then thought: "MY GOD! I an the MAN!" Full ton in a swoon.


	2. Morning

Ben opened his eyes because that would need. Groaning, tears from the bed and stretched out arm, walked to the door. He found the door and crept into a small hallway. "First door to the left"- had an idea that came from nowhere. Ben turned. The hotel was small, very much so. "As this unknown me grandmother lives in such close quarters?"- Ben thought, - "here and nowhere to turn around". Poor fellow, he had no idea what difficulties you will encounter.   
\- Good morning, Baba Nina! - Purcell cute child's voice from somewhere in the corridor.  
\- Hello, honey, - creak Ben, mentally noting that his new name "NINA".  
\- Baba Nina, do to help?  
-No, no, - Ben opened the door of the toilet and the weak-eyed he stared into the dark room the size of a closet for storage of brooms. Thought. Felt on the wall, found the switch. Turned on the light. The room was no more. Ben closed the door and slid the panties and faded, were once blue, panties, climbed up on the toilet. He would never have done, but the body obediently fulfilled the daily action. «God you're my, how she is doing? » - In a panic thought Benedict, balancing on the toilet, - "this is the fall - can be killed!"  
\- Baba Nina! - At the door dissatisfied rattled, - you there soon?  
\- Do not disturb Baba Nina! - Strictly heard a distant female voice.  
\- I wish, - wailed the second female voice, a younger compared with the first.  
\- Take a leak in the bathroom.  
"They have no rest?"- Startled thought Ben, sitting on the toilet,-" how are they doing?"  
\- Baba Nina!   
\- Now - creaked Ben, peeling with toilet and dressing - panties - "Oh my God" and warm pants. Pressed flush. Flush did not work. Benedict pressed a second time. FLUSH DID NOT WORK.  
\- Grandma, wait, I will wash away, - said a female voice.  
Coming out of the toilet, Ben went to the bathroom.   
\- Grandma, bathroom busy!  
Ben stopped in the corridor, trying to figure out where to go.  
\- Can go, mother, - someone young and half-dressed, slipped into the front door of his room.   
Ben slipped into the bathroom. There was closely. Benedict felt hands, came across the cube unknown to him substance that resembles a small brick. Drove on it with your fingers. It would use the soap. “Soap,"- thought Ben, and began to look for water. Water included archaic valves, and both cranes tech cold water. I had to wash my hands in cold water. Ben washed up and listened.  
\- Another week to wait for hot water!  
"And why they don't have HOT WATER?"- Tried to understand Benedict, -"and why a week to wait? They that cannot complain to the owner of the house?"  
Washing your hands, Ben went back.

Baba Nina came to him drove the girl and told her NEVER to cross the threshold of this apartment. And then she began to think.  
-"I am the man! Young! Oh, My God! Beautiful! What can I do?"  
But then there was a squeak cell. Baba Nina looked for it found in other people\my jeans and automatically pushed the button.  
-Ben, we on the nose of the fourth season of "Sherlock", - the receiver began gruff male voice, - you could not come to me?  
-Who are you? - asked Grandmother Nina.  
\- Are you drunk? Or not enough sleep, Ben? That's me - Steven Moffat! We discussed yesterday with you the script!  
\- I do NOT CALL! - My grandmother called Nina over the phone, "-I don’t KNOW YOU! - And disconnected. Put your mobile phone, thought and went into the bathroom.   
There was VERY spacious and there was hot water, which pleased grandmother Nina.


	3. Day

-Grandma, I'm a mess right now will bring, - came a female voice. "Why do I porridge?"- Ben thought, lying on the bed,-«I wish I had toast and coffee”. But then he remembered that he is now in the body of the woman. "We need to behave accordingly, so that no one would suspect anything,"- he decided Benedict and something procreate in response.  
Into the room came a woman, but in the mist-sighted face and Ben found that the young woman. Of course, older than him, but just skater. In the minds played hormones, but Benedict mentally pulled him: «it is Impossible. I AM A GRANDMOTHER!"  
-Is your porridge, -the woman put on the table a small plate and left? Ben was lying on the bed and tried to figure out what the woman were dressed -blue sweat pants and the same jacket. At least Ben has left the impression of something blue.  
Ben got off the bed and found another subject. It was a REAL WOODEN STOOL. Ben had never seen such Antiques at a time. The stool was painted light blue color. Ben sat down on it and began to look for spoon naughty old hands. Battle with a spoon, then with a plate, and then porridge took a lot of time and effort, so after Breakfast Ben went back on the bed and dozed off.

Someone came took a Cup and turned on the radio:  
-....Russia - came in, turned on and never turned off...  
"GOD ALMIGHTY! I do THAT!?"-She panicked Benedict, -«where only...» the last thought he had no time to think, as I fell asleep.

Grandmother Nina lay in the bath and thought. Find sinful bathroom in the APARTMENT she managed the second time, for corny lost. The apartment was enormous and acted on Grandmother Nina magically. «Now will be washed up, dressed, and will continue to explore the apartment," - said the grandmother Nina,-"on the street, I will not go, and then get lost. And what is this magic tricks with a poor old grandmother!?"

About the same thought Benedict, awakened from a rather loud voice:  
-Hey, why, I come!  
-Hi, - just in case protracted Ben, having no idea how to say Hello to the owner of that voice.  
\- IPN, BA,-is the door closed.  
Ben lay; thought again got off the bed and found on the table a mug of tea. Drank. Noted that the tea is delicious and went fucking around in the toilet. In the toilet he repeated the trick with toilet. Sitting on it, he tried to imagine the size of the apartment in which it was introduced. But the information was scarce.  
-BA, soon you there? - again, this great voice.  
-Now, - Ben hardly got off the toilet, promising myself that if this nightmare continues, on the toilet, he more to climb will not, and crept out into the hallway. But here it gently, but rather just unceremoniously moved in the direction of the bathroom, and Ben-sighted blinked his eyes. The first time he had not noticed that it was in the bathroom, in addition to the antediluvian cranes, and now, it might be unclear, saw that in a room about the size of two closets for flooring, stands the white enameled bath, near sinks, on the other hand - washing machine. The walls are covered with blue tiles on the floor, too, tile, and slippery, Ceiling mounted, four small lights-one restaurant, one blinks and two shining.  
-"Why this bathroom is SMALL?"- belatedly surprised Benedict, -«as they are washed? Immediately turns?" But in order not to delay the owner of loud voices, Benedict had washed his hands and was nominated in the passage.   
The first point - from a small passage forked off big and he rested in a forward door.  
The second point - on the door of the room grandmother Nina ("MY», said Ben) hung packs that cigarette, but in the house with smoke did not smell.   
The third thing from a small passage led to another door.  
But then Ben again unceremoniously pushed to the door of his room.  
-BA, I opened the door, come on slowly, - his motives gently but firmly. And when Ben was beyond the threshold of his room, the door was closed.  
"Both doors, probably, is a real place," Ben said, - "one door - lives this little girl with a nice clear voice, and the second - a curvaceous woman's voice older than me and the owner of loud voices. But then it is unclear why they grandmother has allocated such a small place? Here comfortable, but a bit crowded!"  
Benedict was wrong, but didn't know about it.

Grandmother Nina has washed, dressed, and started walking around the apartment, dumbfounded, staring at her. But then the phone rang at the door. Grandmother Nina came up and said severely  
-Who's there?  
-Is Moffat, -said, - Ben, open up!  
-And where is the proof that you are the one who they say? - Vigilantly asked the grandmother Nina, after a pause.  
-Ben, what are you really? You those, right show? - On the site became nervous.  
\- Go away, or I call the police, - violent voice answered Grandmother Nina.  
\- The police!?- Behind the door was speechless.


	4. Day. Continuation.

-Ben, open up!- on the court came to himself, - I understand that you are now in great demand, you get tired, but if we don't do this wicked season, Sherlockman all over the world will tear us to pieces!  
But Grandmother Nina methodically searched the apartment in search of something heavy. After some searching, she found the bat and it went to the door.  
\- ...just read the script, I will tell you my opinion and I go, Ben, open the door!  
-I open the door, - have mercy grandmother Nina, - but on one condition...  
\- How? - On the court with visible relief.  
-You who were not there will behave decently!  
-Whatever you want, Ben.

Grandmother Nina opened the door. She saw a dark-haired man is not in its taste. To be precise, the body, in which she came, too, was not to her taste. Wary Grandmother Nina of men. Before the age of 96 years, she shared all men into three categories - cute men from 60 to 80, cute boys from 40 to 60 and goats. Logged man was not cute, did not fit under the category of cute boys, and most fall under the category - goats.   
It was not clear what is the intent of this man came here. And suddenly - he's a maniac, specializing in small decrepit grandmothers?  
Moffat first looked around. He saw Benedict standing in the middle of the hall and compressive bit with the strongest views.  
\- Ben, - Moffat began to approach him, - come peacefully sit and talk.  
-Stay there and don't come near! - Grandmother Nina shifted a bit more comfortable.  
\- Well, well, - Moffat stopped. Ben something happened. Not very good because Ben forgot everything that happened yesterday. "What is it?" thought Stephen, - "it was drugged or introduced drug? Hit on the head? Frightened? My God, what was HAPPENING with him?!"  
"These men have something in mind. Something bad,"- mused grandmother Nina, carefully watching the stranger, - "you have to be alert".  
Moffat has made one more attempt. The attempt ended fact that Moffat were on the floor. From the crushing blow bat.   
The stranger touched the floor. Grandmother Nina poked his bat. He did not stir. "Can I kill him?" - She panicked, - «blow was weak. He probably was pretending. Waiting, when will it be possible to attack? No, the pot of water will quickly bring to senses". Said - done. After the cold water Moffat stirred and sat down. Ben really was happening was wrong.  
\- Hey! You who call us citizen? - Strictly asked the grandmother Nina.  
\- The police! - Said Moffat, but actually he called Mark.

Ben was asleep. The most uncomfortable in the old body was fatigue, but on the other hand, this was a BIG PLUS. Ben could sleep. On the street calming knocked rain, who slumber? Ben tried to accommodate senile body fit your needs. Radio loud mumbling under deaf ear.  
\- Grandma, here is your tea, - the owner of the loud voices went to the table and put down the mug. Ben opened his eyes. A dark spot running quickly. While no information, except for the loud voices. "I have to learn a lot of information about these people,"- sad thought Ben, and aloud creaked:  
\- Babe...   
-BA, mA wanted to know - will you have dinner?  
-Yes, - she procreated Ben, feeling very hungry indeed.  
-Okay, ba, - is an owner of loud voices disappeared from the room.


	5. Evening

Benedict brought dinner - ten dumplings. Only problem was that Ben didn't know what it dumplings. He stared suspiciously sighted eyes on the plate, where lay strange white small cakes. But hunger is not the aunt, and Ben, mentally reading familiar prayers, and began eating. My grandmother Nina, praises the heavens, was attended by almost all teeth and was in good condition. The long arm of the dentist NEVER touched them. Ben slowly chewed unknown dish. It was delicious. Under a thin skin hid juicy meat. Ben ate and mentally smiled.

Grandmother Nina, due to the unusual situation, he thought, as Russian, and spoke and understood English. And on the third minute of conversation the stranger on the phone, she realized that this bastard cheated. Hit a bat, and the phone shattered into small pieces, and the treacherous stranger again knocked face into the floor. But here the door timidly knocked.  
-Who's there? - asked the grandmother Nina.  
-It is I, Mark Gatiss! -Replied from behind the door, - Ben, open up!  
"The accomplice!"- Thought Grandmother Nina, - "now that they have planned to attack and Rob!" Aloud she said  
\- Wait a few minutes.  
Went to the door, opened it, and crouched on the other side. Went repulsive type, he even did not pull on the category of the goat. Grandmother Nina didn't like sticky hideous sight, and she hit him with the bat.

Related to one of the shirts Ben, the two insidious stranger was sitting on the floor in the living room, and my grandmother Nina concentrated pondered whether to call the police or to hand them the most.  
Moffat opened his eyes and found that tightly bound to Mark Gatiss.  
-Ben, this is not funny! - dissatisfied said Moffat.  
Benedict, who was sitting with a bat in a chair, even looked at him, but said nothing.  
\- Yes, Ben, it passes all bounds, - woke up Gatiss.  
Grandmother Nina looked otherwise the eyes of the second villain, decided to defend the body in which now was. "Look at you, and runs his aspiring mist eyes on this guy, like strips, pervert! Though this kid and not my taste, but it is necessary to stick to the return of the master. He is still so young and inexperienced, you may get into trouble!”  
\- I'm calling the police! - announced grandmother Nina, found his mobile, dialed a number,( because of their frailty grandmother Nina didn't delved into the intricacies of technical progress, but the body did everything on the machine)   
Half an hour later when the police arrived then the ambulance and all taken away.  
Moffat and Gates at Ben to the police to make a statement not limited to the statement that failed slipped on the floor. And when the police let them go, then took Ben to the hospital. For an examination. And my grandmother Nina in the hospital never been, cards, not that she had much to the displeasure of local therapist.

Ben blissfully stretched out on the bed. The day was heavy, Benedict tired. Dinner pleasantly warmed the stomach, but it was not enough. While Ben was afraid to ask and suddenly grandmother Nina supplements do not ask to be suspicious.  
-Good night, Ba! - Again, this great voice from behind the door.  
-Good night, baby! - creaked Ben.  
"We will carefully all and all to learn if I will stay",- thought Ben, beginning to doze,-"find out how the name or how their lives here, let's call it a preparation for the next role, God knows, what will happen to play the old lady?"


	6. Week

Ben found the following. Lived in apartment five, including grandmother Nina - daughter grandmother Nina. Baba\mom - Olga, the elder daughter\granddaughter Julia, my younger daughter\granddaughter and daughter Clara Clara\ granddaughter-Alena. Men in the house were observed. So Ben could feel the bear in raspberry.  
Olga Nikolaevna was retired, but to sit on the bench with such could not, because that was a big pain in the butt. She ran around the apartment like a tornado, by the evening fell down on the sofa, staring at the TV and he fell asleep.  
Eldest granddaughter every morning had disappeared from the house at 6.00. She worked at the factory. And its operation started at 7.15. Back to 16.00 Moscow time, went into the computer and excluded from society until, until he returned Clara - youngest granddaughter. She went to 8.00 and came to 18.00.   
Alenka brought to the apartment and noise inherent in the young child. Not that she was a little - in the third class went. 

Ben once appeared on exploration. He already comfortable in the body grandmother Nina and tried to figure out how big is the apartment where he lives this body. He one day took courage and went to explore the surrounding area. But was caught by Alena. She is a sweet laughter brought him to my room and sat on the sofa.  
\- BA, you will Baba Yaga!- she said Ben and began to play next.  
Ben sat down and surveyed the surroundings. Due to unclear situation with transfer consciousness, the body grandmother Nina began to adapt to the new consciousness. Improved appetite, vision, decreased fatigue. Ben was glad. And the main advantage of all this was that Ben didn't have to SHAVE.  
The room was small. Ben didn't even know what to compare this room, at his home, even the bathroom was more than this. Entrance door. From it clockwise - Swedish wall, the little bed where she was sleeping Alena, dresser light wood, it's a small aquarium with fish, near the rack scored all sorts of books, trinkets and toys. Toys were lying on the bottom and top, and the rest of the book. Then black and blue computer chair, near the antique writing Desk the time of the first officials. He stood parallel to the window adjacent to windowsill. The windowsill was a pair of violets in pots and a little lemon tree.  
The window was wide tricuspid. The first door was parallel to the table, the second was the balcony door, and the third one sided with big wardrobe. A wardrobe stood near the big sofa, which, in fact, sat Ben? Wooden frames, window glass, and it were evident that it was not a retro design, and good old Antiques. Behind the wooden door hid bags...  
BA, and now you are - dragon! - Alenka happily played with dolls. Then on the couch, on the floor. Repair in the room was relatively new decade or so ago. The floor is parquet, varnish came down. Ben pulled his throat and looked through the window to the balcony. He was disappointed. Actually, it was called loggia, but she was SO small that Ben nearly cried with pity.

In some days Ben reached a large room with living room. The others were absent or two at work, and Baba Olya with Alyona to walk left. Living room was slightly larger, and could pass for a bedroom Ben in his own apartment. No, he lived all alone, would be enough space. A little cramped, but, in principle, can live. But here lived five!!!  
In the living room clockwise standing rack scored books from top to bottom, on the bottom shelf laid the paper. They also had a lot. To the shelf is adjacent to the Cabinet on tapered legs, with glass doors, a shelf and cupboard below. It was utensils, on a shelf full of books, and a locker was closed. Then went sofa bed, armchair, shaky computer table, on which too many things lay, the computer, the system block on the table, not the computer, seat-spinner, two small tables, on which there were flowers on the window sill - flowers, another table. On her TV "Gold Star", an armchair, a second sofa, chest of drawers, it aquarium, aquarium fishes, triple wardrobe and all. A door. The window was triple, double frames, as in the whole apartment. Ben returned to her own room and wept with pity for the unknown grandmother Nina.

Grandmother Nina conducted educational activities while filming the new season of "Sherlock". The first event was held under the motto "No office romances". No, Ben listened with great attention, only no one understood what it all. No one knew that under the body of 38-year-old boy hides a 96-year-old woman.   
Grandmother Nina liked a few men of the crew, one of them was like who died in the war grandfather Nicholas, but grandmother Nina time realized that now it is impossible, because IT is unmarried man if my grandmother Nina knew that in the United Kingdom for such novels condone, maybe she would have tried to match. But grandmother Nina didn't know and hardening she was old, so she behaved with dignity.


	7. Week. Continuation.

-Hi, BA, -Julia came to her grandmother and sat on the floor, wash the floor there will be no hot water, outside the window ten degrees of heat. Summer stupid.  
Ben squinted his eyes to the eldest granddaughter. Her face was beaming with joy. "Some news",- Ben said,- "listen".  
-I like what you have interesting city, BA. First bottled bromine. A unique precedent, never in the world was full of bromine. We spilled! Ba, are you listening?  
-Yes, babe,-is clearly creaked Ben. He was lying on his antique beds, covered the beaver lamb skin a fur coat color rainy day, with his feet in boots and galoshes on the stool.  
\- Then the bus went off the track in winter Shershni and sinks. Well, the event is a local scale, no one really about it. Then WHAM! Arrives meteorite. And after a couple of minutes after the explosion, our city is the most famous in the world! They all know him! Why, you meteorite remember?  
Unfortunately, Ben about the meteorite vaguely heard, but did not give value. And here - "o LORD MY GOD!"- An eyewitness of that event needs not to arouse suspicion...  
-Yes, babe, - Ben made the most innocent expression.  
-But it's calmed down stupid Olympics and her silly torch that everywhere Gus and we have singed a torchbearer. Still cool. Live on. Then we brought the car, "Formula -1" and you know what happens?  
-What? - Ben showed interest.  
\- He burns down, not to reason, but obviously not a long ride will be. Interesting town,- Julia giggled, got up and left the room.

Mark Gatiss looks to Ben. The behavior of the past every day became better and better. Mark didn't know what to think. Ben unobtrusive changed the image of Sherlock. Tight shirts are gone, replaced spacious. The laptop was replaced by the books. Such an interesting twist in the story began to take shape that mark without memory fell in love with Ben.  
But Grandmother Nina vigilantly guarded the body, in which there was. And all attempts Mark (GOAT) were crossed. But the partner on the series grandmother Nina, defined liked. Solid uncle-category "Dear Boy"(Grandmother Nina) - quiet, calm, Grandfather Nicholas reminds. And play with them was a pleasure. 

****

The apartment in which dwelt Ben in its current state was so small that could fit in one room of this apartment, only Ben didn't know what kind of room can come. Finally he stopped in the living room. «Old Poor Granny!"- Ben quietly cried into the pillow,-"how can she live here? How are five people in this apartment, where close to one?" Ben was very sorry for her grandmother and her family, but he couldn't do anything about it.


	8. Month. Drabble

Grandmother Nina was not forbidden to walk around the apartment. The only - not to stray. That is, if you go to yourself, don't bury yourself in the Cabinet. But the body grandmother Nina, thanks to a new consciousness, he began to see well, so falling into walls and cabinets stopped.  
Several times after wandering around the apartment and seeing who, how, where he lives, Ben came to the disappointing conclusion. Grandmother Nina lived in a privileged position. She had her own room, though small. Olga Nikolaevna eldest granddaughter Julia dwelt in the living room, sharing it with a TV, a computer and an aquarium. Youngest granddaughter Klara and the great-granddaughter Alyona live in the middle of the room, which was an exit to the loggia.  
**** Ben carefully studied his room. It turns out under a bed full of books, wrapped in a plastic bag. Ben began to disassemble them and found the "Dictionary of useful information" 1905 edition. Ben thought in English, and understood and spoke Russian. And this ancient book it was very pleased. "Well, now I can understand Russian!"- glad it. On the trunks were water of old Newspapers, magazines and books. Ben how could he put chests. On the table and under the table full of books. Ben was dismantled and there. In the nightstand where there was an antique TV "Baltika"-lamp, so broken - full of books. Ben studied and read.  
In General, in this apartment there were a lot of books. Here lived the real book worms. At first sight. A real bookworm - eldest granddaughter. Ben sometimes watched Julia, sitting at the computer, reading a book.  
Collection of cigarette packs - hobby eldest granddaughter.  
\- The child,- once creaked Ben, - and many packs in your collection?  
\- For a thousand exceeded, - said Julia, - and I'll find or drags.  
Cigarettes were different. Ben mayn’t seen, many did not know and some did not even know.  
And the grandmother Nina on the table was a curious structure. Ben sinful deed thought it was a music box, but what he saw surpassed all his expectations. There was terribly old hand-sewing machine. Very antique. In those years it was when Ben and on earth has ever had, and he was not even planned.  
**** After another shooting, Ben (or the grandmother Nina) and Martin went to bars. Actually Grandmother Nina drink not knows how, but allow yourself a glass of liqueur (twice a year) could. But Martin started a nice conversation about the famous English actors and about drinking forgot. And mark had pursued him. It was infuriated by touching Ben other participants of the shooting, and even that Martin went with Ben in bars, in General, brought the Brand of myself.  
Lost them around the house Benedict was upset and went heated. But fortunately remembered that at home waiting for him, so I went home and cried all night on the shoulder of his friend.  
Martin drank tea with her grandmother Nina and went home somewhere in the tenth hour of the evening.  
And in the morning on the set has occurred most grandiose scandal. Grandmother Nina came to the site, (after the grandmother Nina gave a lecture on the topic" CANNOT YOUNG GIRLS to be HUNG ON the NECK UNFAMILIAR GUYS!" to all the fans Benedict, about his\her house there was NOBODY) saw the following. Mark, gripping the sweater Martin, shaking the old man and yelled:  
\- WHAT YOU DID YESTERDAY WITH BENEDICT!?  
\- Tea drinking!!!  
\- DON'T LIE!!!!  
Grandmother Nina went to Gatiss, and tore it from Martin and said:  
-Martin drank tea. With me. All.  
Gatiss, having discovered the absence of Martin in his hands, grabbed the shirt Ben:  
\- THAN YOU ACTUALLY DID!!!- And yanked.  
Fell down buttons. Worked instinct, and mark got a nose direct blow.  
-I need a new shirt! - Said Grandmother Nina.  
-I need an ambulance! - hissed Gatess.


	9. September. Drabble

The apartment needs repairs. Ben sees it, but as soon as he wants to say about it, very quickly restrains himself. Now he is not a young healthy man, and withered old woman. And to hear from the old woman's proposal to the global repair apartments highly suspicious.

****

Alenka went to school, and Benedict became involved with her English. A little, so as not to cause suspicion. Alena thought it was OK. Ben thought that everything is all right and no one suspected anything supernatural.  
But suspicion crept into his soul, when one morning on Saturday Julia, looking at the grandmother Nina, suddenly asked:  
\- And how Frankenstein's name?  
\- Victor, - he protracted Ben on the machine, and then thought -"maybe Grandmother Nina didn't read "Frankenstein"?"  
Strangely familiar granddaughter was. Ben could not understand WHAT it seems such a friend, and then he understood. Way to raise the eyebrows, smile, look - a mirror reflection of his REAL FACE. No, Julia was not pretending it was natural for her... Ben heard of doubles, but did not believe in mysticism.

****

Another series was shot somewhere in Surrey "the Case of the motorist". Swamps, laying on a huge everything. Filming Grandmother Nina and Martin often strolled along the marshes and talked. Sometimes grandmother Nina climbed over the swamps in search ahold grandmother Nina was old; she enjoyed walking through the woods and fields in search of berries and mushrooms, but with the advent of frailty-Hiking stopped. And now the grandmother Nina remembered his youth, the benefit of the body is allowed.  
Gatiss filming practically was not. His character in the frame, and as a member of the crew, could never come. But mark came and took care of Benedict. Once he stumbled into a local bar, where the grandmother Nina staged a concert on demand. Gates came at a time when the grandmother Nina began to sing.  
-Has-Bulat daring! Poor little hut of yours;  
The Golden Treasury I will give you.  
The cottage magnificently thy will paint around,  
Walls ababu I Persian carpet.  
Braid your beshmet will embroider the edges  
And you a gun my Covenant will I give.  
Ladies older than you piece with the mark,  
Ladies dashing knight Kabardian brand.  
Give my rifle, ladies dagger, basely, -  
Only for this you my wife I give.  
You are old, you're really ETS, and it wasn't life,  
At the dawn of a young age, you will lose it.  
Hard without love her to answer you  
And wrinkles thy loving, kissing".  
Ben's had a beautiful voice, and my grandmother Nina, regardless of age, excellent memory. The whole bar, open-mouthed listened to the song. After this song, Grandmother Nina began in the second.  
\- "Early-early at dawn, in the ice  
I watched a good hike,  
On the pouch - whether for good in trouble -  
Crimson silk sewing-embroidered star.  
Sewing -embroidered dashing his head  
Crimson silk hammer and sickle on canvas,  
And he went, the sorrow my,  
To fight the Germans in distant lands.  
Died down thunder summer harvest,  
The shepherds drove for the winter flocks,  
Only me from my dear  
No answer, no greeting - nothing!"  
This song was followed by a third.  
-That's someone from the hill descended  
I guess my dear goes  
Security shirt  
It made me will bring  
Security shirt  
It made me will bring  
It epaulets gold  
And bright award on a breast  
Why should I met  
In life  
And all has ended is as follows:  
-Know how in the world Axel to live,  
He bravely swam in the sea,  
When in hell he pleased,  
Sipped devils grief!  
Such Affairs he is there done,  
That the sky was hot,  
Hell tails cut off  
And beat up their stick.  
Satan himself, pursing tail,  
Bounced out of hell...  
"It's hell, not a sailor!  
And such, we don't!  
And when the grandmother Nina and Martin went, finally grandmother gave:  
\- As on our station  
Found the body without a head...  
Until his head was looking for,  
Legs got up and left!

Mark lost his head completely and began to hatch a cunning plan. Caurule Benedict Cumberbatch.

****

And Ben was ripening suspicions. Eldest granddaughter suddenly began to ask my grandmother Nina strange questions. Strange in the sense that Ben knew the answers to these questions, and Grandmother Nina - no.


	10. September, October.

\- BA, is it true that the hills like white elephants?  
\- Have no idea what are you, darling? - Ben hung on the face of the most innocent expression.  
\- Come on, BA,-Julia was looking at his grandmother, but her gaze was directed somewhere in distant lands, - and how are your Simpsons?   
-I don't know.  
Julia giggled and disappeared.   
Granddaughter loving, jeans, shirts, t-shirts. Very interested in cars, weapons, aircraft, yacht. Reading everything and looking just what she likes. Benedict did not find any of their posters, but anime pictures she had. But it is not really known.  
\- And you, BA, do not remember, I told you, - answered somehow Julia on the question of loving grandmother about pictures on the wall - I retro anime with their opinion.

Slowly Benedict explained that the list of favorite actors he takes the sixth place in the category of"Paws"and just six categories. The first is "Dear"- old and dead, the second - "Paws" - Mel Gibson, Hugh Jackman, Wolf Larsen, Jackie Chan, Mark Wahlberg, Benedict Cumberbatch. The third is "Good"- there were not less than a hundred actors and Actresses from all countries. Fourth - "Fools" - yep, Jean-Claude van Damme, Schwarzenegger and ten pieces, the fifth, the «Goats" Mickey Rourke, George Clooney and some others. And the last - "Hate" - Leonardo De Caprio and four.  
\- The child, but as you all of them share? - Ben said, one day in the resurrection.  
\- Who, why?  
\- Actors?  
\- Silently. You had better tell me, BA, and this ingenious freak to play, probably, it was difficult?  
\- It-as-th freak? - he began to stutter Ben, - I don't know what it is?  
\- Hawking...

****

The plan Gatess hatched long as befits a movie villain. His current uh, PAL was older Benedict for the whole year, but still scary to face. Although the Brand itself did not prevent often look in the mirror, then he knew that in the leg - sneaker. Ben such a monster could not pick them up.  
But no matter how it was, Mark thoroughly developed a plan and started to implement.


	11. September, October..

-BA, - Julia giggling behind the door, - you velvet legs?

"After all the movies I reviewed," -sighed Benedict himself,-is now taking ".

\- A silent witness did not specify you fields of gold are?

\- Poor spies from Cambridge inseparable from amazing ease?

And weekend so every. Ben didn't know what to do. Heather Julia did all that he has opened. And Ben, for his part, tried to avoid it. Good game worked.

\- Nathan Barley got into the top ten?

-And Miss Marple accidentally traveled to the edge of the earth? With her heart beating you can get on a small island!

Why, so the questions put slyly that the rest of the family did not cause suspicion.  
One October apotheosis Saturday  
-Good morning, Baba Ben!

 

****

Mark hired people who attacked Benedict in his home, kidnapped and brought to a rental apartment that mark paid in advance. The kidnappers had been badly cut up, because Grandma Nina fought back as best they could. Bits, mugs, and pan - everything was in motion. But grandmother Nina stunned tied up and gag stuck, not screaming.  
Mark was happy. Even Very.  
A week has passed. He to his precious prisoner did not go. Waited, you bastard.  
But in Sots. Networks started cry that mark began to get nervous.


	12. October

And then one day Julia, dressed in a t-shirt and homemade dark-colored breeches, went into the room my grandmother Nina, sat on the floor and stared at Ben. As he lay in a green jacket, blue pants and boots.  
-Well, Grandma Ben, let’s tell us now.  
\- I do not know, -Ben said, trying to slip out, but looking at her granddaughter decided that I would pretend not worth it, - well, well, and then I gave?  
\- The fact that he began to teach Alenka English. No, you gave yourself earlier. When I read books started to. I know how many years have not seen my grandmother reading?  
\- Probably a long time, - Ben agreed, - but how did you calculate that it is I, and not someone else?  
\- Experience of Amateur detectives. When 96-year-old grandmother SUDDENLY begins playfully running around the apartment, becomes sighted, eats well, and could barely walk, had not seen, heard bad, bad eating. Suspiciously, - Julia familiar gesture raised his eyebrows and shook his head, - and haven't commented in domestic conflicts? Although it was broke. Only one option wrong grandmother's something comes to mind. Well, getting to watch.  
\- And for a long time you know about it?  
\- You've changed Baba Nina somewhere in August. In early September, I guessed, by the end of the month gathered evidence.  
\- And the rest why not noticed?  
\- They don't believe in miracles, - smiled Julia.  
-Well, once we found out that you know, - Ben sat down on the bed and looked at Julia, - then I may to ask you about one thing.  
\- Ask Grandma Ben, - let's granddaughter.  
-You're my fan?  
-No, - replied granddaughter looked familiar sight.  
\- But judging by the questions you've watched ALL my movies?  
-Yes, but I, - Julia smiled, - itself. I'm your real connoisseur. But true worshiper not the ardent fan.  
\- And how do they do different? - demanded Ben.  
\- Explain. There are such flowers-orchids! They are lush and beautiful. Around them hovering birds-hummingbirds. They are too bright nimble. To flower from flower. Brown Orchid But and hummingbirds to it did not fly. The star of the show business. Of fans Bright Crowds beautiful. And then the star of forty - remain only connoisseurs and fans, and fans flew to the next star...  
\- When I return, I will send you a poster with my autograph!-exclaimed Ben.  
\- And where you will send, you don't know the address? - Julia looked askance at his grandmother - and hangs me nowhere. See for yourself! And I don't need your poster, I'm your photos will pump from the network...  
\- But my autograph!  
\- And why is it me? Brag About? Whom?  
\- You have no friends? - Struck Ben, - but how so?  
-I would like you to become my pen friend. We're the same age, maybe we could find common interests, - Julia moved its gaze on the wall behind Ben, - but you're not on social networks, and your place was full of ghosts and clones. And I'm not interested.  
-I'll be back and you will find, - said eagerly Benedict.  
\- You will not find. Will Because I forget. And grandma Nina now makes your reputation is crystal clear.  
\- Yes, I like nothing did, - began thinking Ben.  
\- I know, and I don't care how many of you have girlfriends, and dance if you're drunk, naked at the lamppost! Me deeply and with great bell tower, the main thing - you to me what their roles were pleased. Okay, I will go about their business, Grandma Ben, - Julia got up and went to the door.


	13. October. Part 2

Mark bought wine, chocolate, flowers and went to the meeting. Dressed - "like a London dandy dressed"- full of himself, he combed his hair, sprinkled Cologne, new panties polka dot plot. The door opens, and himself:  
\- Benedict! AU? I came! You missed?  
But the apartment was silent. Mark was surprised, opened the door and walked into the apartment. Bang in his face bumped Teflon pan. Mark blinked dumbfounded eyes, but the pan again arrived, only now on the back of the head.  
\- Ben! -Cried Gatiss, - well, what are you? That hurts!  
-Oh, you damn pervert! Maniac unfinished! - Grandma Nina thrashed Mark the pan. Strongly and Fiercely. 

 

Mark woke up on the landing, the nose into the floor. The last thing he remembered, so it's a magical arrived Penndel in the ass. Benedict is a strong guy and a kick that he gave his screenwriter, came out very tangible. Mark just stood up and whistled over him a bottle of wine, hit the wall and shattered, covering Gatiss by debris and liquid. Then box of came chocolates and bouquet. The door behind him slammed shut.  
Grandma Nina wearily sat on the sofa: “I hope it will dead yet to break into someone else's apartment!"-quite thought Grandma Nina, -"pan is the weapon of the oppressed!"  
Gatiss hardly rose and, groaning, went home.

****

Shooting broke. Lead actor - Benedict Cumberbatch - disappeared. Disappeared inexplicably suddenly and. All the police of the United Kingdom stood on the ears. Gatiss shouted the loudest and resented by some irresponsible individuals. In social networks there was a noise. Twitter was indignant little, because the message in it is extremely concise. In Facebook - the screaming was so much more. Lovers of fan fiction posted a million and a half of fanfic with different theories and versions of extinction Benedict, but no one came close to the truth. 

****

-You know, Grandma Ben,-Julia looked to his grandmother on Friday - and you, it turns out, was gone!  
-How come? - Creaked Ben,-I looking for?  
-Not you, but your body,-Julia smiled, - I don't know where grandmother Nina took, but I hope she has fun.  
-It's okay, - Ben said, concerned.  
\- It turns out, Alenka also understand that you are not your grandma Nina,-Julia winked, - see what Scales nerds. Horseradish deceives us.  
-Talk to me, - said Ben.  
-No problem, - Julia went into the room and sat down on the floor. It was homemade shorts and a t-shirt, - what you want to talk?  
\- Tell us something.  
-Well let's talk about you and your cast will speak.  
\- The topic is uninteresting...  
-You're my opinions haven't heard - encouraged by Benedict Julia, - I personally think that Sherlock in your performance is a good thing, but to Vasily Livanov far do you think the hero. I do a lot of what Sherlock Holmes watched Conan Doyle read and can compare. Very Interesting situation. The main company Directors old Sherlock and old Watson. Less - young Sherlock and young Watson, even more rare, old and young Sherlock Watson and rarely - young Sherlock and relatively old Watson. The feeling is not read that no original.  
\- I read, - said Ben.  
\- Why, you play a major role! The first time is “Star trek. Dive into the darkness". Not bad you all eclipsed. Your villain was so charismatic that eclipsed all others. There were rumors that you were in another film about Batman was invited?  
-I... don't know, - said Benedict, - and the role of who?  
\- The Joker. Well, then we should do a movie about the Joker. You're there all his charisma will crush. Batman is a super hero era Joker,-lectures voice and Julia laughed, - will be cool.  
-You're the first time I was in "Star trek" saw? - Come to Ben, - but questions?  
\- And this is me after Sherlock. I think I will look here, what kind of actor? Look. Yeah. The Laurence Olivier Award. Well,-Julia familiar gesture raised one eyebrow,-and I don't have any recommendations.  
-Why? -Benedict respect of its acquired granddaughter,- is bad for you?  
\- It's good. Me... The tabloids are not the decree. I don't understand most of the labels hung on stars. I choose who and what I watch. And Laurence Olivier was a good actor, God rest his soul. Whoever gets this award is also a good actor. Well, not everything, - Julia smiled, - of course. Okay, go to sleep, grandma Ben, and I went. Tomorrow we'll talk.

Ben leaned back on the pillow and began to think:- " What happened to his body, which now Grandma Nina? I hope there all right, and then return no way..."


	14. October Part 3

Julia came to the grandmother Nina and sat on the floor next to the bed. Face it looked genuine enthusiasm. Benedict opened his eyes, convinced that this is Julia and opened his eyes wider.  
\- Hello! - Said Ben, - did something happen?  
\- Nothing like that, - Julia grinned,- but it's the most unusual gift on my birthday.  
-What is it? - asked Ben.  
\- Guess not? You, albeit in the body of my grandmother!  
-But you probably would like to receive gift me this?  
\- Tied with a red ribbon and put it in a box? - Sarcastically replied Julia, - and why me? Where I am you would be doing? Would have back in London to send...  
-But if, - said Benedict, - we would have changed would your grandmother consciousness and bodies? I would woke up here is a real, hands, feet, and grandmother - in my apartment?  
\- What? - Reasonably asked Julia, -you should dread rushed... in the apartment, and then by city...  
\- And if not rushed? I...  
\- Know. You're curious, although I could be wrong. Calmed down, and I would like you to plant a loader made.  
-Why immediately loader? - Smiled Ben. - The operator is better. I have the computer know.  
-You know, we have equipment operator’s never been and movers needs. Would receive 25 thousand per month and save up for homecoming,- Julia snorted, - and grandmother would Nina would find in your apartment, would be brought to the hospital to heal. Well, said the old woman, who was she and how in the apartment of Mr. Cumberbatch was.  
\- And your salary how much?  
\- Half to himself - to the needs, half of the family 12 thousand month .  
Benedict was speechless. He stared at the newfound granddaughter owl eyes full of wonder.  
\- Say, my needs are small; sometimes they can afford... something to buy and spend money on something. Now I really want to have articulated action figure of Sherlock, but alas. In terms of our money - it costs 10 thousand. And I have no such money.  
-I'll come back and get you a figure!- cried Benedict.  
-Yes, and send me by mail. And it will steal, and will be the same story with the iPhone.  
\- What's the story?  
\- A Guy from the United States sent to us in Chelyabinsk three IPhone 5 for their relatives, they disappeared, and recipients have received three bags of salt.  
-Oh, - Ben frowned, - then, if I want to send you gifts, I have to go somewhere?  
\- Accurately.  
\- And I still here that are interested in? - Ben smiled at Julia,-how actually you got me figured out?  
\- Social network.  
\- Explain.  
\- You're still settled in the body of the grandmother, the grandmother tried on your body. Month all was quiet, as any fan of the most ardent, almost crying, complained on Twitter, as Benedict Cumberbatch cool with it cost. She, you know, the whole day was waiting for, when you go out to make selfe, and you gave a speech, which boiled down to one basic truth -"young girls should not be hung on the neck unfamiliar guys." And these messages became more and more. And you... are not yet able to talk about it, because you are young. And when you're old and gray then please.  
-Is that all? And if it hadn't I would have been?  
-You. I told her suspicions, and you immediately asked me how I got you figured out. Sherlock Holmes was also horoscope Libra. And we the people are corrosive.  
-Jesus! - Benedict sighed, - when you have a birthday?  
\- Today.

****

Grandma Nina, having lived at the apartment for a week and all there eating, I decided to do legs. She carefully surveyed the whole apartment; he estimated the height of the floors. And one day, knocking out the window disappeared. The police she did not ask. Why? Who knows? Maybe Grandma Nina wanted thrills? She returned to their apartment/Benedict, washed, ate, thought, and called Martin.  
\- Ben?! Where have you been?!- Martin breathed excitedly into the phone.  
\- Come with me, - said Grandma Nina,-is not a phone conversation.  
-After half an hour I will.

Martin arrived and was immediately put into the apartment.  
-Oh, Benedict, where have you gone? Shooting broke! Steve and Mark - furious!  
\- Mark?!- Grandma Nina raised her eyebrows, -do they?  
-And that surprises you?  
-But the fact that he came to me.  
\- Where to?  
\- At the rented apartment. He brought wine, chocolates and a bouquet. You wouldn't happen to know what he wanted from me.  
\- How can you a rented apartment?  
-And I was kidnapped.  
-My God!-Martin surprised stared at each other, - you suspect Mark?  
-I... doubt,-grandmother Nina was sure hand in the abduction has made it mark, but she didn't know where Ben Mark, and maybe it is in the order of things? But Grandma Nina wanted to protect that body from any attacks, especially from sticky paws Brand.  
\- Come on, that's what I'll do, - said Martin, - stay at home, I have food you'll get the calls don't answer that. And I'll talk to Steven and Mark.  
\- And what do you hope to learn?  
\- Nothing, I just want to know their reaction.

Evening same that.  
-Steve, can I talk to you?  
-Of course, Martin, what happened?  
-You know, where Benedict?  
\- No. Where? And do you know?  
-Well... you're the only one don't tell anyone and don't call me, okay?  
\- Yes, okay. But don't keep with him all right?  
\- Yes. Lost a little...  
-Where's he been?  
\- He was kidnapped.  
\- WHO!?  
-He is not seen, they were in masks. He arrived at the rented apartment and left him there.  
-Yes? - Stephen scratched his chin,-and need to contact the police. And as you got out?  
-Ben ran away and returned to her. Then he called me.  
\- Clear. If he escaped, then the thief will search for it, so not going to communicate with him yet.  
\- I will. He is my friend Yes your, way, too.

Later A bit.  
-Mark, I'm sorry that delay.  
\- All right, Martin. What happened?  
-You know, where Benedict?  
\- Oh, no! - Indignantly said Mark, - he irresponsibly disappeared...  
\- Why do you think that Benedict ran away?  
-He recently looked tired, probably sitting somewhere, resting...  
-Ben is not so, - replied the friend Martin,-he's shooting seriously...  
\- Such. SHOCKINGLY IRRESPONSIBLE CONCEITED!  
-And to me, it seems that you're not telling, - Martin looked at Mark.  
-I don't know, - Mark shrugged her shoulders and walked away.

an hour After.  
-Ben, you were right. Mark in this case is somehow mixed. But I'm hurt you'll not.


	15. October Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Norwegian Wood (The Beatles)

A week later Julia led to Grandma Ben Alain. Before long they were giggling behind the door, forcing Ben concentrated listen. Then the door opened, ran Alena, beaming smile. Ran to Grandma Ben, embraced him and kissed him on the cheek. Benedict was stunned and surprised.  
-What was served, babe? - creaked Ben.  
\- Anything. Just Alena birthday today, - said Julia, - Alenka, tell grandma something in English.  
-Is grandma will understand? - doubted Alena.  
\- Understand - insidiously Julia giggled.  
\- Grandma, today is my birthday and I'll eat pizza.  
\- I am very happy for you, cute baby, - Ben said.  
-Oh, good, - said Alain, - Aunt Nina speaks English!  
\- Isn't it wonderful? - Julia chuckled ominously.  
Grandma Nina was sitting in his apartment. Martin No one except, did not communicate. The social network was not issued. Ate, slept and thought. Two Martin Freeman and Mark Gatiss in addition to her London thought. First thought about what to do now Ben. Second - how to get Ben back.  
After talking with Martin, mark rushed to the rented apartment, but... "And when I awoke I was alone, this bird had flown". Mark realized that Ben ran away. Now he wanted to return it. The yen he explained nothing, sat down at the Desk and began to thumb through pages on the Internet in search of the perfect crime. In his clever mind there were plans, some steeper than others, but they all rejected, because they are characterized by high complexity in the implementation. A friend of his brought him dinner, but mark barely touched him.  
-"All have husbands and wives, and those who have not, those lovers, mistresses and close friends,- said to myself, Mark,-"I the worse? I urgently need another friend to take a break from the Ian. Benedict suitable this role. Most importantly Young Beautiful charismatic. Well... though it is precipitated by girls of all kinds and ages, but if I hide it well, they definitely will not find it. I need a perfect plan".

-Ben, you have to be careful, - said Martin came to Cumberbatch in guests. He brought him food and fresh news.  
-I dare say you are looking for? - Wearily asked Grandma Nina, - I was so tired of sitting at home! I have already washed the floor, repaired and cleaned everything and everywhere, including garage and closet. And now...I just get bored. Next time bring me books.  
-I know and say,-Martin walked around the apartment, - and you can't even imagine what kind of PR in social networks. I'm not talking about the rest of the world, but the United Kingdom is on the ears. Forgot all about Obama, and about sanctions Russia, and about other problems combined.  
\- Oh well,-didn't believe Grandma Nina, - if the Queen were kidnapped, I could understand.  
\- Wait, - warned Martin - you strangely uttered the last words? \- Misspoke - Grandmother Nina made the most innocent face.  
-Okay, - Martin came to the false Benedict and patted him on the shoulder, - I'm going to protect.  
\- And the police can't do? - asked Grandma Nina.  
-So they are not yet aware of that you're back, so I will come tomorrow and will remain in thy house, and thou are so kind to give me a room to stay!  
-No problem, - smiled Grandma Nina, - for you - anything!

-"Shooting still broken".- Mark sat staring at the monitor of the laptop, - "lost and gone, and then none of it and will never miss it. Star he already won, the fans turn away from him, and I'm going to flock to it. Will settle somewhere in Devonshire, in a small cozy house”, - he dreaming Mark,-"a quiet romantic date on the Heather fields. Well, of course, Ben breaks, but then realize that his career came to an end, and will play his last role... until then, until you become old, flabby and disgusting..."

-Are you sure, that I'm in danger?  
-Yes, Benedict, I am sure, - replied Martin.


	16. October, November.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you tell me how to write   
> when you snidal laziness  
> lie and doze like a seal  
> Oh where are you my sofa

Alenino birthday is spent well, Grandma Ben on this occasion after drinking a glass of liquor, went to bed early. Well, what you want, if the consciousness of a 38-year-old boy is enclosed in the body of the 96 - year-old harsh Ural old ladies? How would not like Ben, but the decrepitude was taking its toll. 

Ben slept and dreamed the following - he flew above the clouds, waving hands, and somewhere ahead was flying someone else. Who? Ben didn't know, but I could see by the shadows that fled through the clouds that someone uses for flying wings. And in the dream he had the confidence that if he catches up with this unknown, it will be a great happiness.

And Grandma Nina had a dream, lying at home. In the next room snoring Martin, who for four days he lived at a friend's house. And Grandma Nina saw the clouds, and they flew two. And she knew it fly her grandchildren. Rather, one of the flyers just was a grandson/granddaughter, and the second could be his grandson. And then grandma Nina jumped up, waved his arms and climbed into the air, flew to catch up with relatives.

Benedict lived certainty that soon coming great event. Only he didn't know what. And relatives knew. Only this event was going to happen in December. Julia grandmother of Ben didn't bother, sometimes only reported what is going on in the world. Benedict hoped grandmother Nina will find all the same, because otherwise return he would be nowhere.  
In early November Julia came to the grandmother.  
\- Fanfic I wrote about you.  
\- About me, how about a grandmother Nina or about me, how about Benedict? - said Ben.  
\- How about Benedict, the type you stole, and you ran away from them. Many Readers.  
-And in your opinion, who had kidnapped me? - asked Benedict.  
\- Mark Gatiss, - said granddaughter, smiling contentedly.  
\- Mark? No, you can't be serious, - replied Ben, - Mark is my friend, why does he need me to steal?  
-Well, he is a friend, and Grandmother Nina - he's no one to call him in any way.  
-You've invented, - frowned Ben,- Mark is a good man.  
-Dear, - said Julia, - for thee, and not for me. I cannot stand. And this is my fanfic, and in my fanfic that I want, you do...

And mark Gatiss hatched a plan. The plan was complicated and required more extras. First, mark was hit wedges to Stephen.  
\- Benedict was gone,- he said to him one day, - the police knocked down, and he's so irresponsible disappeared, leaving us to deal with a bunch of fans and a crowd of Sherlockman. Who wants to kill us because of the fact that their favorite series in 2015 will not work...  
\- And what do you suggest?  
\- Convene a press conference and tell that Benedict was gone.  
\- Are you nuts? There, you know what will happen, if we recognize it!  
\- Recognize, and then we'll have a drink, that Ben was safely located, and saying all this, - Mark has taken over crocodile tears.  
-I'm sorry, - Steven was moved, - and that Ben ruined work on the TV series.

Then there were the people from the film crew. Mark talked with everyone, and the result was the following from the press conference it was decided to opt out, and the restaurant to deliver the first and only point of the program. And somewhere in the middle of November, mark began to bring extras to the execution of his plan. But except for the first part of the plan, Mark was ready the second part. It is through fake people bought a charming shack in the mountains of Scotland, has provided her with everything necessary for living. Somewhere on the Eastern outskirts of London Then rented through front an old barn. Bought everything that he thought was necessary and began to wait.

-Julia, - once said Benedict to his granddaughter, -I have disturbing dreams began...  
\- What did you dream, Grandma Ben? - Compassionately asked granddaughter.  
-That grandma Nina, that is, my body is in danger. I see myself in some chains, chained in a dark and damp place...  
\- And the face of a thief?  
\- No.  
\- Okay, I'll tell you what, Baba Ben, me too alarmed by some vague dreams of a similar nature, but in my dreams is dangerous...  
\- Can you see me in your sleep? - Benedict raised his eyebrows.  
-Well...you see... sometimes.  
-You fell in love with me? - Smiled Ben, flatter us with the hope.  
-Here's another, - and sarcastically snorted granddaughter, - is surrendered to me, you know what a crowd of stars in my dreams haunting? And what clappers they fly, because they do not go there? So don't listen yourself. Out better in my sister fall in love...  
-I was offended, - replied Grandma Ben and pulled above his Astrakhan coat.  
-Come, I will make you tea, Baba Ben? - suggested Julia.  
-No, - Ben snorted defiantly. 

Partying was noisy and crowded. One hour after the beginning all forgot, because of what they do here all the time. Mark poured Martin sleeping pills. Martin began to nod, Mark has been involved. Help is offered. With party Martin, Mark and Ian went first.  
And in the morning Martin Freeman did not come to work. It did not answer the phone, and when Steve showed up to his apartment, he found that Martin's house!   
Of course, the first thing asked Mark. But he swore that he Martin drove in the apartment were taken, and what happened afterword’s know, because left to themselves.

Grandma Nina also called Martin, but for all calls was one answer - "the SUBSCRIBER is TEMPORARILY NOT AVAILABLE OR IS OUT of range ACCESS”.


	17. November.

-Martin Freeman disappeared. - Such good news to Julia came to Grandma Ben.  
And he glumly sat on the bed, chilly bundled in a fur coat. Ben spent the night dreaming of all sorts of horrors.  
-Hey, Baba Ben, - called Julia, - what's wrong?  
-Dream - a terrible dream, - he complained Benedict, - dark room and monotonous thud of the water...  
-Yeah. Your friend Martin Freeman disappeared, - intimidated Benedict granddaughter.  
\- How so? - Cumberbatch stared at Julia, - where?  
\- If I knew, UK on the ears was not. Even the cries of Scots, who decided to suddenly separated from England, temporarily forgotten. Already and sanctions Russia in the furnace went out.  
\- Because of me?  
-Yeah. Only if exactly looking for your body. They don't KNOW what your mind is in RUSSIA!  
-Where now, Martin?  
-Well...according to my dreams, someone somewhere holds. But who and where, I am not aware of...  
-You have to go to London!-pathetically exclaimed Benedict.  
\- So what I do there?- skeptically replied Julia,- will come to the Studio and tell you that in the body Cumberbatch is the consciousness of my 96 year old grandmother, and consciousness Benedict in the body of an old woman? I am your famous Bedlam will get. Especially on what Shisha I will go to London? The totality of my salary on a Schengen visa does not pull. If only in the Luggage compartment in the suitcase...  
-Is that bad? - Upset Benedict, - I already absentia sorry grandma...  
\- For grandma don't worry... Once upon a time, there stood a summer day. We were alone in the apartment. And suddenly the phone rang. Grandmother asked: «who’s there? The door said mechanic and from behind.  
And my grandmother said, " and we locksmith is not caused, is pulled from the closet axe and threatened - I got the axe. The mechanic had been afraid to come in the resurrection. So grandma don't worry, the more it is in your young body. All tear.  
-And there's nothing I can do, - sobbed Benedict, - I am so weak and helpless.  
\- Rusty bracket in the hip bones! If your consciousness in the body of my grandmother, so what do you want? Thank God, the old lady was good to eat, to see better and quicker to move. Come on, I'm delicious tea will bring? Want?  
-Yes, thank you, - sobbed softly Ben, thinking to myself: «why not Julia comforts grandmother, which is me? Why is it...? Pat would be on the arm or hair? Still..."  
-I've ironed will not, because I NEVER iron, - suddenly said Julia, - and not just dream about it.  
\- What if I was? - Tried to flirt Benedict, - the real one?  
-Boo-ha-ha, -said granddaughter, - I b thee stroked, no doubt...  
Ben smiled contentedly, but the smile vanished from his lips when he heard the continuation phrase.  
-... iron or stick or something heavy so on your choice.

****

Cell phone Benedict received a message:  
-" check e-mail where Martin If you want to know?" 

Grandma Nina poked in the computer. Bummer. The machine required a password, but Grandma Nina did not know him. In memory of Benedict may be the password was, but the memory together with the consciousness was absent and was far away from London.   
Then grandma stuffed the message:  
\- "the computer is broken, no access."  
The answer came in a few minutes.  
\- "let's change will come to the Palace, you will come people will go with him. Martin will return."   
-"where is the guarantee?"   
\- "what guarantees are needed"  
\- "Martin has to come before"  
\- "not applicable"  
"I'll call the police and tell there who had kidnapped me."  
"You will not dare, if you do, I..."  
\- "What"  
\- "... will Martin kill "

Grandma sat down to think. Martin was sorry, and that there is a trap, she did not doubt. She was sure that it was Mark. "What can I do?" in a panic, thought grandma Nina,-"as in a trap not to fall and Martin to save!"


	18. November part 2

-Julia, as you know, when I come back, I'm sure you'll find, - said Benedict Julia.  
\- And how do you represent?-asked granddaughter, looking at Ben with a piercing glance.  
\- How? Normally, - is not realized Benedict, - I'll seek and find...  
\- HOW ARE YOU GOING TO LOOK FOR US? - Very clearly said Julia.  
\- It's easy - confused Benedict, - or is there something that I still don't know?  
-You don't know much. For example, address, name...  
\- I city know - strained Ben, -’ll burn yourself nuggets of information.  
\- Yes, you write it down. And the body, by the way, there will remain together with records.  
-Yes, - gloomily said Ben, - I hadn't thought of that. But I can remember!  
-You can, but the chance that you'll REMEMBER when you get back? There is no chance.  
\- Teasing you me? - In favor of said Benedict, - of course, I love all of you will remember, then come back, find and bring you to himself in London...  
-I will see you more dreamer than I is. You fan fiction to write’s tried? I think you would've been.  
-Julia, I REALLY want to help you! Grandma Nina in MY BODY has the ability to sample the delights of life in London, but this is WRONG. And when I will bring you, you will be able to live in his pleasure, because you now as my second family.  
\- Yes, and will present us to the Queen. "Now YOUR MAJESTY, this family from Chelyabinsk, they live in bad conditions and I decided to show them London, - in the same breath said Julia lectures tone, - and when are Queen you will ask, how is it that you met with us, what would you say? My mind once woke up in the body of the 97-year-old woman from the southern Urals? We will all in the nearest mental hospital. To as take you Grandmother? It is old; it cannot touch it...  
\- Well, you can I pick up? - In desperation Ben said, - give Alena - dolls Monster high, you and what you wanted?  
\- From a pipe? Well, articulated Sherlock and even record your two performances of "Hamlet" and "Frankenstein".  
\- Write? - Ben raised his eyebrows,-it's so unexpected. I thought, well, autograph, poster, though what there was to say about it all...  
\- The autograph is fake, and posters... I'm from the network will inflate.  
-Well, Clara, what do you get?  
-And she will choose.  
-That's good, -Benedict smiled contentedly.  
\- Dreaming is not bad,-is skeptical muttered Julia,- back, you about us happily forget.

*****

Grandma Nina sat at home and thought. "What do I do? Save Martin? But then I will fall into the trap. No, that's not good. Will not go on about the kidnappers? Martin may die. Although unlikely, mark will kill Martin. It won't work. So. This will be MY TRAP and my RULES!"  
Fine. Grandma picked up the phone and stuffed the message:  
-"Conditions have changed"  
The answer came:  
-"What do you want?"  
-"you take Martin and go home with me"  
\- "yeah and there will I wait for the police and security services"  
-"no, we will be alone. The door I open"  
\- "Good"

Grandma Nina cleaned the apartment, cooked guns of liberation - pans and a bat. Dressed in tight shirt, pulled up a chair so that logged immediately saw sitting, and sat down. 

Black shirt . Top two buttons undone, revealing a touchingly vulnerable clavicle and emphasizing long neck. One strand casually hanging on the left eye, highlighting the gray depths of his eyes. Deliberate negligence in the pose yourself hair slightly messy somewhat. Like sat as usual, but... in Benedict combined a kind of innocence, sexuality and charisma. But it was so complementary that it was not aggressive. Inside and...  
And inside grandma Nina wanted to punish, to show and to give the Mark`s was necessary. And outside quietly But it raged inside.


	19. November Part 3

The door opened and on the threshold appeared Mark Gatiss holding the shoulder of Martin Freeman. Martin was blindfolded and hands tied. Was it bad, was probably open or inflated drug. False Benedict raised his eyebrows:  
\- Mark?  
Mark is stunned by the sight that opened before him. He felt warmth in his chest, he's got guts and then in the stomach was to flutter butterflies and my head started to buzz, and my ears rang.  
-Ben? You're the one?  
\- Of course, we agreed, - and again is a surprised expression, - I am one; you'll let Martin or me to do it?  
-You will not escape? - inquired Mark.  
\- No.  
\- Then you can let him go,-Mark is freely located in the chair and began to devour the eyes of Benedict, and he took Martin by the shoulder, led him back to the exit.

-"Oh Lord! What is plastic, what grace, what is the fluidity of movement?"- Tenderly thought Mark, looking at Benedict, - “nothing superfluous, no haste, all natural and so innocent. Ben, definitely a good actor..." 

Bringing Martin on the street, Grandma Nina freed him from headbands and ropes.  
-Ben, why are you doing this? - Martin freed, grabbed his friend by the hand.  
-You, above all, do not worry, - replied the false Benedict, confident attalea Martin away, - all will be well. You'll go to the police and all they will tell you, I'll kill that bastard.  
\- - Mark, most likely, will not harm you, - gloomy Martin said, - but I'm afraid...  
-Don't be afraid. THIS is MY TRAP, and so everything will go according to my rules. Now go.

-I see you are already relaxed,-Grandma Nina appeared on the threshold of the living room,-and why without wine? Oh yeah, you didn't come out of the house. Drink will be? Wine? Tea? Coffee? The juice?  
-We...uh... and for the meeting to drink, and certainly the wine, - said Mark. His heart has long fought somewhere in the throat and the throat has dried up.  
-As you say. I somewhere had a bottle of wine. Bring Now will.  
-Wait, - stopped him, Mark, - why did you change your mind?  
\- I, - false Benedict turned his head slightly and stared raised one eyebrow, -I thought, maybe you're right. When I was young because... - fame and money. All this was fiction, and good patrons will not prevent...  
\- Benedict - you are a miracle! - Utilizes, exclaimed Mark, - let's leave all this and go to hell. I bought a lovely cabin on the border with Scotland. We will live there together!  
\- Why did so far to make, - smiled disarmingly grandma Nina, and I thought to myself: «Here is a rascal! All his life with Ben Have already painted. Freak! Maniac! Pervert! But I'll give the full program. Do you even know the harsh nature of decrepit Ural grandmothers?"- So would you be drinking?  
\- Of course.

False Benedict brought two glasses and a bottle of wine. Put on the coffee table, opened the bottle and poured two , casually, leaned over in the immediate vicinity of the Mark.  
Mark almost before his eyes, saw the clavicle, neck, curls wheat color with black tips (paint fades) and nearly lost consciousness from it all.  
\- Are you sick? - Compassionately asked the false Benedict, rising, - all right?  
In these words there was so much participation and innocent spontaneity that Mark realized that he was a maniac-a pervert who tries to seduce absolutely innocent creature.  
-Yes, I would look at you maniac, you know that you so desired body hides the soul of a 96-year-old woman from the southern Urals? You would massive heart attack enough! Ha-ha-ha!"-Grandma Nina ominous laughed to himself, but aloud he said, - you feel good?  
-Yes, all right, - said Mark, - you just have stuffy, -here, and loosened his tie, unbuttoned the first few buttons on his shirt.  
-"Yeah, now the stage is ready,"- grandma Nina mentally rubbed his hands,- "revenge is a dish that should be served cold."

False Benedict gave Mark a glass of wine, but did it so badly that flooded face and shirt...  
-Ben, what you done!?- cried mark, but choked on the words, for on his head flew Teflon pan.  
-Oh, you bastard! Maniac! Damn pervert! Yes you I never liked! - Grandma Nina thrashed Mark the pan, -and I first met I knew you were crazy! And you thought I buy?!  
\- Benedict! Please! Don't beat me! - it was said Mark, but after the nth shock he started bleeding from his nose and then he, in fact, lost consciousness.

By the time when the police, led by Martin broke into the house of Benedict Cumberbatch, it was all over. Mark bound hand and foot, lying on the floor in the living room and Ben, dressed in more spacious home clothes, lay on the couch and carefully studied the Teflon.  
\- Ben! - Martin rushed to my friend, - how are you?  
-I - okay, - replied Grandma Nina, - but the pan was damaged, look,-and shoved it under his nose Martin,-Teflon cracked.  
-Mr. Cumberbatch! - The voice of the police diverted Grandmother Nina from studying damaged pans, - what accusation do you want to show this person?  
\- Kidnapping me and my friend Martin in the perverted purposes - clearly said grandma Nina, - can it be removed; it spoils the look of my living room.  
-Good, - the police picked up Mark Gatiss and dragged him away.

-We have lacked detectives in the movies, so they had fallen in real life, - said grandma Nina, being extended over the whole length of his new, but familiar body.  
\- How did you manage to beat?-Martin asked, sitting in a chair.  
-I had deceived him, and then when he relaxed, poured him wine, and put the pan .  
-I would pans as weapons, would not have thought, - smiled Martin


	20. December. The beginning.

-Hi, Grandma Ben, - the door of the grandmother of Ben opened.  
"Today is Friday", - recalled Ben, -"Julia would sit up late at the computer. And it's already dark, and judging by the silence of the apartment, all were asleep, then come talk."  
\- Come in. What happened?  
-Nothing, - Julia in the dark and sat on the edge of the bed, where under a warm blanket luxuriated decrepit old woman's body is the grandmother of Ben, - nothing significant. You there, Martin was found, and Mark went to jail. Scotland on this occasion decided not to separate, but Catalonia decided to roll away from Spain, the Urals- Russia, and Siberia from the Urals.  
-You bent, - creaked Ben, - you can't be serious.  
-Okay, that's what I came up with when you intend to go back?  
-You don't want me to see more? - With resentment in Benedict said.  
-I miss my grandmother, Nina, for her natural...  
-And I as your grandmother you are not satisfied with?  
-I like my,-Julia has allocated this word, - grandmother, and you are in their most natural form. I still hope to find you in this network and make friends with you. Nothing... I'm a quiet fan.  
-But don't you have friends?  
-I...,-Julia quietly sighed, - probably the same sociopath, like your Sherlock. Only his high level and I am passive. Sit sit, then a little run and sit again. I have no friends, I only have familiar - the good, the bad, the ones that I long to see, remembering them when they birthdays, those whom I see often, those with whom I feel good to be silent, and those with whom you can talk... So... I have profiles in Facebook and Twitter, and Vkontakte... But so what? Such as I - one road in the virtual network, but I don't want to change anything. It works for me. I people don't digest the spirit. They are disgusting in their weight, with pleasure all shot.  
\- I'll be back and I'll find you on the network,-is convinced Ben said.  
-You will be able to find me only Vkontakte and others - you will not find me. It is unrealistic.  
\- Masked? Well, I can understand, I am an actor, and why?  
-And not found. Those who know me, find it. And who knows - even more optional.  
\- If you want everyone to shoot, then I, too, find them in danger?  
-You don't.  
\- Why?  
-Because, just don't be offended, well, I consider you as my brother. And still cherish the belief that you would perfectly fit in our family. Alas But. At us with you it will not work. Because of different social status, different countries... us and you will not find, when you come back.  
\- Find, - hotly whispered Ben,-you are my second family. You love your grandmother. And I must, simply must help you. I will find you and your sister have an account?  
-Yes, Facebook.  
-I'll find your sister, then I'll find you, I will give a link to my personal page, then we all discuss and I will come to you. I will make this apartment repair, improve living conditions grandmother Nina, and then we'll take you, Clara and Alyona in London.  
-Oh, Yes! Dream, dream. Ben, you just cannot imagine how it is difficult.  
-All easy, - said Ben, - I have money, there is a connection...  
-Okay, Grandma Benedict, sleep, cherishes plans;-Julia disappeared in the dark, and quietly opened the door.

***

\- Benedict, you're not so understood,-almost with tears in his eyes, begged Mark - don't put me in jail!  
But Grandma Nina turned a deaf ear to his pleas. Returned from captivity perverts Cumberbatch quickly began to play in its major projects - "Playing the imitation", "Richard III" and the notorious "Sherlock". Fans began to squeak under the Windows, despite the prohibitions grandmother Nina. The media was awash with projects, assumptions and fried the facts. All, far from the world of show business, people gave smart interview, spraying mud Benedict Cumberbatch, on the contrary, obese it and elevating. There have been several flappers, which appeared in the press, claiming that Mr. Cumberbatch is their father. But even with the naked eye it was obvious that Ben could only be a brother, not a father.  
Grandma Nina behaved with dignity. Angry speeches she denounced the envious, who tried to spoil. Martin became suspicious glance at his friend. Strangely he behaved, very much so. Not as young successful guy. But Martin could not even guess WHO IS now in the body of Benedict Cumberbatch.

***

On Saturday morning Julia said Grandma Ben.  
-Is now the time will go wrong? The forces that you have changed, you can to put everything back in place. And it seems to me that they are just waiting for that someone in London guessed that in your body - not your mind.


	21. April.... December the end...... of April.....

In the kitchen sounded the Young voice happy. Julia sat at the computer in a large room and listened to that voice that mixed English and Russian words. It could not be true, but it was true. Revived miraculously Fantastic luck...   
Julia`s, Yes, and the entire family, few doubted that Benedict, once in your body, completely forget all your troubles, but it turned out very interesting. And steps in this direction have been taken by Grandma Nina, being in the body of Benedict`s Cumberbatch`s. And only thanks to grandma Nina, one fine windy day in April, Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, in some jeans and no t-shirts, made repairs on the apartment's kitchen grandmother Nina. But rather to raise it with the earthy reality to the empirical turned out to be an extremely difficult task. Ben stared and said the whole family.  
-I promised to make life grandmother Nina acceptable, so Julia, Alyona and Clara are coming with me to London and Olga Nikolaevna and Grandmother Nina will remain here, but on one condition - I'm doing here repair. It's so cool and interesting.   
It all began this way.

The end of December

 

Took the birthday of Clara, was approaching a significant date. Grandmother Nina Birthday. Ben on this occasion was visibly nervous, but tried again to get out of his room and to see the apartment. He had one sole purpose - to remember everything that needs to be repaired, so that when he came back, in this form, start to improve the life of the grandmother Nina. He believed in his return, but Julia is not. Moreover she stopped to talk, and began to restrict their fellowship wishes good morning and good night.

 

Martin began to notice after Ben oddities. December 12, Martin, going to Benedict to visit, found that for unusual activity. Ben sat and signed envelopes. Next was a bottle of wine and a glass, to which Ben was occasionally applied. Martin looked at the signed envelopes -"JULIA","CLARA","OLGA","ALAIN","FAITH", "VICTOR", "NATASHA" and "STAS".  
-Who is that? - Martin took one envelope and addressed it,-is your girlfriend?  
\- These are my relatives, - said the grandmother Nina.  
-Are your relatives? - Repeated Martin, - but I know your family and their name is completely wrong.  
-Are relatives,-Grandma Nina was unwavering,-and I ask you to do a small request.  
-Of course, what can it be, - Martin smiled, - we're friends.  
\- Take all of these envelopes and put down large sums of money.  
\- And you are not able to do that?  
-Unfortunately, I do not remember the pin code of your Bank card, - laid Grandmother Nina. To be precise, she didn't know it.  
-Probably Mark you something wrought, - said Martin anxiously, - are you the last time themselves are very strange... and forget the pin code of the card? Are you sure you don't need to rest?  
-But will you do it? - asked Grandma Nina, ignoring the question.  
-Okay.  
-And then I will need to find these people...  
-I do this? - Martin asked carefully.  
-No, - grandma Nina looked at Martin,-will remind me later, okay?  
\- Be calm, - said Martin, took the envelope and went home.

 

Ben woke up in complete harmony with itself.  
\- Happy birthday, grandma... hmm... Ben!  
-Thank you, Julia, - said Benedict, - come, let's chat...  
-No, I work ,- for a door snorted and there was silence.  
Benedict with appetite had Breakfast and asked supplements, drank delicious tea and lay down on the bed. "I'm already so used to these people. They can rightfully be called my second family. And as if Julia did not speak, I will come back here. Will definitely be back and will help them there," -Ben while all this thought touched.   
And in the evening, Grandma Ben got his legitimate piece of cake and a glass of liquor. Ate, drank, and in a very good mood fell asleep.

December 22, Benedict was again in the kitchen of his house with a bottle of good wine. Martin came to visit, saw it and ordered a pizza.  
\- What we're celebrating? - Martin asked.  
\- My birthday! - Surprise replied Grandma Nina.  
\- The Lord is with you, Ben, - Martin stared at his friend, - your birthday a long time came. You got it in the summer.  
-No, - ran Grandma Nina,-today.  
-Good, - Martin did not argue,-today, today. Christmas is coming, what are you going to do?  
-I don't know, - replied the grandmother Nina. She had the feeling that her adventures in this body will end soon. Therefore, it has prepared these envelopes can be a real Benedict interested in and find all the beloved relatives.  
-We'll have to visit a bunch of techniques. Or will you leave to your parents?  
-I don't know...  
-Okay, - Martin, realizing that Benedict`s is not configured to discuss future plans, abandoned him.

On the evening of December 23, Martin came to Benedict and looked at him, and suddenly asked:  
-Who are you?  
-Ben, - replied Grandma Nina, internally getting.  
-Just outside Benedict Cumberbatch, and inside... Who are you?  
\- Is you don't know, - Grandma Nina took and pushed Martin`s out the door. And how much Martin in the door was unacceptable, wouldn't let him in.

December 24, passed quietly. And in the night from 24 to 25 - a miracle happened.

Grandma Nina opened her eyes. «Room My! My Desk, my stool! I missed!"- She thought.  
-Good morning, Bah!  
-Good morning, dear girl!  
-Thank you, - behind the door snorted.

Benedict opened his eyes. "OH, My God! I came back!"- Ben joy sprang to his feet, went to look at myself. All right - own body his. No sooner had Benedict how to bring myself up as came to him early. Martin Freeman.  
-Hello, Martin!- cheerfully greeted Ben with a friend, - how are you?  
\- Benedict, it's really you?  
-Yes, - Ben smiled, - you're on time. I tell you such a story, you just won't believe!  
\- I have nothing I will not be surprised, - said Martin, dropping into a chair.  
\- Then it was so,-and while Benedict was washed, shaved, dressed and cooked their own Breakfast, he told his friend the whole history of its existence as a grandmother Nina in the distant city of Chelyabinsk.  
\- To be dumb,but that could be,- said Martin, - what are you going to do? By the way, not you prepared envelopes with money to relatives, what to do with them?  
\- The wise grandmother, - grinned Benedict,-we begin to search in social networks my new family. The key question is "are you from Chelyabinsk? » check out "Your grandmother is 97 years old?"  
-Okay,-Martin liked this idea.

 

***

 

April

 

Benedict`s had to spend three months before he came upon his new relatives. They very quickly have written off. The first thing Ben had sent a present your poster with the inscription "Smart granddaughter from her grandmother Benedict» and in April came himself. And from the first of April was not a very noble cause - the repairs in the apartment grandmother Nina. The rest received their gifts, fully reconciled with the fact that next to them are now living with their new family member - Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch.


End file.
